1.Some idiot came to me and told me that my Ex is now fresh, looks beautiful and so on.
My friends, so if the renovate my primary school, does that mean I should leave university and start primary school again? (mugabe wisdom)

2.Not every friend request is a friend request. Some are surveillance cameras. (wisdom)

3.Thank God for the person who discovered bra. They make fallen soldiers stand like new recruits.

4.That moment when your looking for a job and find out that your X girlfriend is the C.E.O of that company that’s when you remember why mathematics always tells us to find the value of X

5.If she doesn’t want to introduce you to her parents…My brother don’t worry, just impregnate her and wait.Her parents will come and introduce themselves to you!!
Wisdom will be my cause of death

6.Sometimes We never get what we want, We never want what we get, We never have what we like, We never like what we have. That’s life.
Happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything

7.You go to church and pray a blessing to have money and after God blesses you, you go celebrate the money in the club. My friend the Holy fire coming to burn you shall be mixed with hell fire.

8.I don’t know who needs to here this. Stop what ever you are doing with that lady, she is somebody’s wife.

9.Even if your Girlfriend doesn’t ask you Money, give her money.. Women need to be given money. It makes them happy

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10.Ushers wake people up every time, they don’t know Church is the only place some people can sleep peacefully without village people chasing them in their dreams

11.You’ll be praying for your sugar daddy to remember you, his wife will be praying for him to forget you.
You people are just confusing the innocent man

12.Bro, whenever you are buying boxers, please ? allow your babe to do the selecting because she has seen more boxers than you.

13.My girlfriend told me to show more interest on her family, now I’m dating her sister..

14.The Devil ? that make everyone fall asleep in Church⛪ is the same devil that keeps them awake at night clubs?

Devil is Real


15. 3 months to Xmas, now all girls are becoming respectful. Even if their Guy goes to toilet, they’ll be like, “baby how was your journey?”

16.Nobody dances better than a pastor during offering time

17.Those who died last night had plans For this morning, those who died this morning had plans for tonight. Appreciate every moment*

18.Being kissed does not mean you are loved. If you doubt it, ask Jesus about Judas.

19.Some girls raise their hands during worship in church just to show men that they have no ring

20.Men were born in between the legs of women, But yet men spend all their lives wanting to go back there.
Do you know why? There is no place sweeter than home. (wisdom)

21.Work very Hard so that your kids won’t have to Type Amen and Share on social media just to get Blessings!!

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22.When you close the door to kill a snake and the electricity goes off my brother that’s when you will know that nobody can stop reggae.
Keep jumping like a rasta man

3 April 2005. Zimbabwe. President Robert Mugabe speaking during a press conference at State House in Harare.