My wife gave birth to a (black)baby that clearly isn’t mine, and I’m divorcing her. But I’m worried about the relationship between my two kids and their new half-sister.
A month ago, my wife gave birth to a black baby girl. We’re both white, so she was forced to admit that the child was a result of a one night stand last year.
I’ve started divorce proceedings, although we’re still living together for now. Between our two boys(aged 2 and 4, I’ve had paternity tests for them and they came back positive), her infant daughter and her having lost her job due to COVID, living together as amicably as possible until the divorce is settled is an unfortunate necessity.
Naturally I have no ill will towards the baby, and I’ve been disgusted by some of the comments I’ve heard from family members, friends, coworkers and others, all who seem to be fixated on the racial angle of this. As if the most salient part of this isn’t that my wife cheated, but that she cheated with a BLACK man and that the baby is BLACK.
What really worries me is that my two sons might pick up on these narratives. They’re too young to really understand what’s happening now, but I’m worried that as they grow to understand the situation that they might grow to resent their half-sister for “breaking up their parents marriage”. And worse that their resentment might express itself in a racist fashion, under the influence of the aforementioned racist narratives.
Any thoughts on how I should try to influence my son’s away from that perspective? It probably doesn’t help that we live in a suburb with very few black people and their half-sister is really the only black person my children know.